MY HEART IS NOT COLD , IT'S BROKEN

SERIOUSLY , I DON'T HATE YOU, JUST I DON'T HEART YOU ANYMORE. IT'S VERY SERIOUS! PLEASE TAKE A NOTE. SUSAH CAKAP DENGAN ORANG KERAS KEPALA MACAM AWAK NI HAA, TAK KENAL ORANG BETUL-BETUL LAGI. BILA ORANG CAKAP ITU, SO MEANS ITULAH. YANG NAK KATA ORANG TIPU TU PULAK? SERIOUS LAH. JANGAN TUNGGU , CARI LAIN. TAKDE FAEDAHNYA NAK TUNGGU. 

REALIZATION :)

Ehem ehem *clean le throat. Hehe. First of all this post is really coming from my mind. Just saying. No double meaning. I just realize dat we live in this world just for a while. If Allah wants us to die, we will die. I'm not a kind enough. We are actually. So don't put a blame to anyone. All of us still have done wrong before or maybe now but we still learn to change right? But how? That's a problem. So as a student and daughter, I really wanna change. A lot. But the situation is about to block me from do dat. Yes my nawaitu is good and i keep trying to change my life to be as good than before. Alhamdulillah. The soc net is soo.. no needed to me anymore. But I do using twitter and blogger to share something good or maybe sometimes i pernah got mad to something yg takde hubungan langsung with me on twitter. Mengarut kan. Haha. Because of me yang alwez menghadap twitter berejam jam , it's taking me to be a lazy girl. Sangat. Hmm, I attracted so much to twitter nowadays until I forget to do my revision. LoL. And now I realize yg tiada benefits langsung lah berejam jam hadap twitter. LoL. Its taking a long time to realize it. Hmm. Be myself iz better. Just concentrate in study and don't follow anyone. Jadi diri sendiri. Jangan ikutkan kawan. Haih. Life must go on. How can i do. All we need is family and friends to give us support and motivation. I thank to Allah because you gave me a very blissful family that i ever had. Also the very kindest friends. Dat alwez support me from behind. And I have prove it yg I can do better after got PMR result yesteryear yg tk seberapa. I will prove it dekat makayah that i've change and wanna do better in SPM next year. So dat i wanna tell all of you dat read this post .. SEDAR LAH SEBELUM TERLAMBAT KERANA MASA TAKKAN DAPAT DIULANGI LAGI. Don't be like me last year, I really sad and liddowan to talk to anyone anymore. Because of ashamed. I got no straight A's in PMR. I hope I can rewind le time. It's okay. I will do better for next SEM (III) . Grab pointer above 3.5 and mom, dad will be proud of me. Mungkin Allah akan memberi aku rezeki lepas ni? Who knows? Allah dah tulis segala kejadian yang akan berlaku kan. Allahu, berilah yang terbaik bagi hambamu ini. Amin. Lastly, I still .. will using dis blogger to share something because it makes me release my tension and also i will stay tweet as long as I'm free. Haha I took about 30mins in writing this unoh? So anything yg baik, make le steps asap, anything yg buruk, please jangan follow. Assalamualaikum.

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How's LOVE driving me crazy :)

Mungkin post ni panjang, ekceli ditujukan for kacuk. if there's anyone that wanna read it, its okay. Tapi jangan gelak tahu xD

haii kacuk? ehh kacuk? siapa siapa? can i know? eeiii can can lah. He's name iz Zulhilmi rafizan. He's so so nice ma. I still remember the first time i saw him at school. always skodeng dia tahu. eh not skodeng its 'usha' ekceli. well, he's face dah lah macam justin bieber? ERKKK -,-"" krik krik. no no lah. he's face look like him lah. haighya. Dah la kepeng, keding and so on la, aighhh kasi gelaran dia banyak ok but the most i like iz 'kacuk'. yahh foevah kacuk lah. He's soo malas, he said like that. haha. don't blame on me. i love you ok. eh no, i miss you ok. eh no, i just like you. eh ? okay tu betul. when i just saw him at school , my hidung mulalah cannot duduk diam, dok kembang membuncit. mata pulak cannot stay by making a berybery mata yg full of hopefulness je then i can't stop smile like kerang busuk. dulu i think mmg tak dpt lah dia tuu kan. its berybery the hopefulness. hakhak, well, he really has so many the many lah kipas kipas. terguzat aighh tauu. uolls jgn lah kipaskipas dia sgt, iolls so jeles tau. nanti uolls ambik dia, bawak lari, pergi lombok ke, iolls yg merana jugak. Takmao takmao tauu. hehe joke je punn. well, when we meet our crush, our feelings will go towards him/her kan, fly fly with that feelings tu kan. what am i talking about ni? err, awkward nak masuk ward ke. haih, so moment ttg dia kt sekolah dulu? banyak ! haha. first of all, i like him and he started to be my crush when i just found him at myspace. and his face iz really the berybery kacukan tahuu xD imma really the pantang lah kan jumpa kacukkacuk ni. haha. and i started stalk him on myspace. I sanggup pergi stalk comments dia, blala, bila dia comment wip le girls , i was like.. hmm..takde chance ah ni.. Hahahaha. itu dulu, but now myspace macam taik hidung masin yg rasa macam nak korek korek je bagii dalam . uiikkghhss. haighya. bila myspace org melayu ni muak, we go to facebook pulak. masalahnya aigh really dunno kacuk's fb. so i got a help. asked for a help from...... nuknukman ! hehehe, sorry for calling you liddat. diz guy lah yg help me to get kacuk's number and also facebook. haha, he's so so nice to me but sometimes he's the bery bery jahat to me. huh. tp aigh really the terima ksih to u lah nuknuk. i got kacuk's number punn tetap tak pernah try utk call dia. even dah setahun lebih centu dpt number dia. but once my friend pernah try utk call using public phone dpn sekolah. haha, and maybe his mom yg angkat. and it was like OMG. "okayokay salah number, sorry". mulalah the bery cuak lidwan to kill diri sndri. ahaks. then, i still remember, dulu at school ada lah penghantaran kurma. and guess what? i co stupido dlu, aku hantar dekat dia do, but bukan dapat kat dia pun. masa tu dia tak dtg and i just like pfft je tahu, waste my money ! huh! haa, ada lagi satu, sweet moment. bila ada penghantaran coklat! i still remember this one. sangat2. me and my bff, ayien argh teraghing to be so stupid. kitorg buat hantaran dgn guna nama crush msing msing. liddis, i hntar kat ayien by using her crush name and if i'm not mistaken i wrote "sayang awak ketatketat !". and my friend hantar as using my crush name and she wrote "sayang awak lajulaju!". hahaha, bila coklat tu sampai kat tangan kitorg thru penghantaran tu, kitorg like sangaaaat lah bajet. Mcm bebetul je kacuk n my bff's crush yg kasi. lol. Ada lagi moment..kacuk suka buat something sukahati taik idung diaa je, pergi ponteng kelas. I saw him keluar ikut tingkap. Like OMG!!!! Apa ni kacukk, jgn ah ponteng. Kahkah. Lagi.. hmm..Pernah sekali, ada pertandingan buat kek kat skola, and i n ayien jst try masuk contest tu, tetibe mng tmpat ketiga dooo xD so nak mencuba nasib bagi kat kacuk kek tu, tapi tapi.. Malu kot!! I asked for farghid's helps. Tapi still aku tak berani.. So tak kesampaian ah nak kasii.. Lol. I don't know apa yg membuatkan aku sukaa dia banget. But bila tgk dia, rasa macam nak pitam enampolohsaat je. Menjerit tak tentu pasal. LoL. Ada lagi, a moment bila dia buat kerja part time kt Selayang Mall, tetiba je nampak dia. Ya Allah seriously tak diduga langsung wooi. Rasa macam nak pergi SM tiap tiap hari usha dia. Angau kan budak ni? Hehe haa, ada lagi!! I pernah usha kelas dia semata mata nak tahu nama penuh dia wip my bff, ayien. Sumpah lawak! Semata mata untuk tu? And i always sengaja jejalan depan kelas dia wip ayien semata mata nak tengok DIA! Lol. I dont know what's wrong wip me huh? Pergi sekolah bukan study, dok usha org. Kalau mak tahuu, habis aii. Kahkah. Kacuk ni, cepaaat je nak balik rumah.. Bila nak usha dia lepas bunyik loceng, aku mesti kena cecepat keluar kelas. Kelas dia kat bawah je. So senang sikit nk usha. Huhu xD to be honest aku pengawas kat sekolah dulu, lastlast dapat duty jaga kelas sebelah je dgn kelas kacuk. Like OMG!!!!! Senang gila nak usha kacuk weh!!!! Sangat best time sekolah dulu. Rassa macam nak putar balik je masa. Nak buat mcm mana. Hidup harus diteruskan. And now, kacuk kacuk, is mine now. Oh yeah. Alhamdulillah, dari crush --> bf --> InsyaAllah lepas ni.. Suami pulak ke. Ahakkkks. Rasanya ini jelah moment ttg dia since dia jd my crush dulu. LoL. Bila diingatkan balik.. Sumpah lawak. So kacuk, i do love you tahu xD jangan nakal nakal, nanti sekali dapat pang free dari i tahu lah nanti ! Hehe, kbooi kacuk aka wm xiao!

Say Hi to Bee !

So how is he? cute? lol i know that. Well, he's so lovely. His name iz BEE. Say Hi to Bee. Come on! hehe

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Hai boyfriend

Hey boypreng henseng !! i love you. Thanks for caring about me, took care of me, loving me and all good things that you have done to me :) I do appreciate it. Just thanks for everything. Please don't be too jealousy on someone that closed to me. We're just friend. Not more than that. I do love you because of Allah. If we are being together, if Allah wills, insyaAllah our relation will be the lasts. If we didn't have a chance of being together, i am surely love you as my heart still for you ;-)

You Are My Everything

Hmm i just thinking about my old friends. yeah my truly friends. i miss them. since i leave DE, i was always thinking about my old friends there. I miss all our memories at DE, or maybe our awesome hang out. I just really hope that we could hang out together again and always, laugh to each other like an annoying person. Eat our Tutti Frutti and sometimes if i'd like to buy a new shoes or clothes, they are always there to suggest me which one i should buy or maybe i ask for their opinions. its really helpful. and also our karokkarok together wip my berybery suara tak merdu. i just really miss that time. if i could rewind the time and change everything , i'd like to be always beside u guys. but i can't. so if u guys read this, just keep silent and don't talk about this to me or in front of me. i will be so malu kucing. because i don't ever act like this before. so I REALLY MISS AND LOVE u guys.

dedicated to my BFF , and 1-3 KAA's of SMKDE :)

untunglah kan -.-"

haaa, amekaw, big size lagi. ini nak cerita pasal sistaaaaaah yang telah meninggalkanku sendirian tanpa bring me along to the place that has these type of animals. ngehngeh. guess where? yahh, Australiaaaaaaa dudeeeee ! so jealous with them. so much!

err, ni nak tacing ni. kakak kakak pergi vacation tak ajak. bila org cakap nak ikot, suh kite pulak yang keluarkan duit. ambooii. saya di bwh umur ye kak oii. di tanggung :p tahulah jeles. takpe, oneday adalah harapan aku nak pergi Paris tuu kan kan. hak hak hak. takpe, berfoyafoya la mu di sana, tidak ku ambil peduli lagi. haha, k, tipu. aku jeles ni. grrrr, u know what i ask them for ole-ole? hoho, i ask them to buy things from head to toe. seems they need to buy clothes, trousers, sandal and ofc i want dresses!!! ngehngeh, i know im a little bit cruel but, because both of you didnt bring me along, hah, amikaww balasan belilah semua yang aku nak yee. kahkah. kata nak skype, hampeehh tak on skype pon. nak jugak aku tgk pemandangan kat sanee secara live kan kan. ecewaaah. sokaaaayy. jgn lupa bawakkan kanggaroo and koala bear hiduphidup utk aku. till then, byee!

Teater cuci the musical :) <3

sumpa menyampaaah. pergi tengok teater masa aku kat asrama. huaaaa. punyalah sedih tak dapat tgk teater ni. tak kiraaaaa. next teater *GERIMIS MENGUNDANG ! nak tengok jugaaaak. ada KAMAL ADLI pulaaaak tuu. ngeeheeee.. takpetakpee. berseronok la dgn CUCI THE MUZICAL tuu. lain hari aku punya turn. ngehngeh.

Teater Se-Merah Padi :) ;)

hehe, ini la dia pelakonpelakon teater Se-Merah Padi :)

Se-Merah Padi :) fuyyo seriously ada kena mengena dgn colour baju kami :)

Se-Merah Padi :) macam retis dah adik aku ni. *k, tak langsung.

Se-Merah Padi :) hehe, its meeeeee :) and ma sistaaaaah :)

he's totally mine now ;)

ehem, based on the title laa, what's on your mind now ? hehe. lol. okayy, to tell the truth.... yah 'pahampaham jela kay ?' okay , at first, aku pergi la confess kat apeekk ni haa, tak berani cakap dedepan.. so aku inbox kat FB dia.. nak tahu apa ? nah, ni dia ' assalamualaikum, hmm ***, org nak ckp sendiri niey. act lama gle nak bgtau dlu. tp bru skrg dok gatai tangan berani nk menaip. tangan ni dok meracau. so terpaksa bgtau jugak. hmm, sy suka awk. sorry. dh kboi.' aku just tunggu dia bagi response.. and.. ini dia cakap.. 'haha da agk da..ptot la ade org dok heboh sne sni psal awk..haha xpe2..lek suda..haha' . gila selambee dia, macam tuu je respon dia. aduyaaaii. eceh. then, banyak pulak celoteh dia kat inbox tuu. tak cukup kat inbox , OTP pulakk. act, dia shock kott time tuu. pastu, banyak pulak benda berlaku after aku confess kat dia. aduyaaaaii. lagipon tak solvesolve lagi problemoo tuu. thenthen, tetibe dia cakap something yg agak buat aku shock :) muehehe. i thought he's just kidding. but tidaaaaaak. its a reality. hehe. so muka dah blushing time tu. tp terpaksa saboorr. takut nt breakheart lagi kang. so layaaaaaaaan. and , dia mula la msg ayat jiwang.. layaaaaaaaaan lagi. haha. and... selepasnyee.. bialah rahsia. KBYE :)

NAH, ini lagu "AKU SUKA DIA by AINAN TASNEEM" .. ada kena mengena :) so khas untuk awak , kacukan <3 <3 <3

Aku lihat dia di sana
Aku ingin mendekatinya
Aku cuba mengampirinya
Lalu aku menyapa dia

Dia pun membuka bicara
Dan aku mulai mengenalnya
Kita mulai bermain mata
Mula timbul rasa bahagia

C/O :
Bila dia, mendekati diriku,
Hatiku rasa sesuatu
Bila dia, senyum pada diriku
Hatiku rasa tak menentu

Kekadang hati ku bertanya
Adakah dia dah berpunya
Kerana diriku berasa
Aku jatuh hati padanya

Aku ingin memilikinya
Aku ingin menjaga dia
Aku ingin mencinta dia
Aku ingin hidup dengannya

C/O :
Bila dia, mendekati diriku,
Hatiku rasa sesuatu
Bila dia, senyum pada diriku
Hatiku rasa tak menentu

Mungkinkah aku, kan berjumpa dengannya
Untuk meluahkan rasa
Mungkinkah aku, kan berdiam diri saja
Menunggu cinta darinya

Bridge :
Ku terima satu nota..darimu..
Yang tertulis 'Aku suka kamu'

C/O :
Bila dia, mendekati diriku,
Hatiku rasa sesuatu
Bila dia, senyum pada diriku
Hatiku rasa tak menentu

Akhirnya kini, ku kan mampu ceria
Diriku sangat gembira
Akhirnya kini, aku mulai bahagia,
Menerima cinta darinya..
Aku suka dia..